THEOLOGY – CREATION – ANTHROPOLOGY

SOCIOLOGY – RELATIONSHIP

vitruvian-man-leonardo-anthropologyMARRIAGE
Purpose of Marriage
Origin of Marriage
Marriage Throughout World History
Ordinations of Marriage
One Man & One Woman
Cleave to Each Other
Love & Affection
 
FAMILY
Definition of the Family
Purpose For Families
Formation Of A Family
Role Of The Parents
Similar Roles of Father & Mother
Parental Teamwork
Child Development
Influencing Children for Life
Heretic Lineage
Generational Blessings & Curses
Stumbling a child
Divorce in a Family
Different Roles of Father & Mother
Father’s Discipline
Discipline & Encouragement
Fathers Duties of Respect
Fathers Duty of Love
Father’s Duty of Provision
Duty of Protection
Duties of the Mother
Mothers Submission to the Fathers Role
Mothers Duty of Attention to Her Family
Role of Children
A Gift from God
How to treat your Parents
Children – Family Inheritance
Old Testament Family Cultures
Disciplinary for Disobedient Children
Examples of Marriage & Families in Nature
Child Adoption
All Believers Are Adopted Children of God
Friends & Siblings
Purpose for Friends
Influence of Friends
Friends With Non-believers
Bad Friends
Making Friends & Wise Choices
Friend of God

 

MARRIAGE

Marriage is the foundation of the family, and families are the building blocks for every social structure that creates and builds up a nation.

Purpose of Marriage

ring-weddingMarriage is primarily designed to glorify God and reflect the relationship that He has with His people; i.e. Christ and the Church. Marriage is also meant to satisfy the personal needs of both the man and the woman, emotionally and physically in a secure relationship under God’s authority. It is meant to create the foundation of families and the building blocks for children and people whom will contribute to society.

For this cause will a man go away from his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a great secret: but my words are about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5.31-32

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, It is good for them to be even as I am. But if they have not self-control let them get married; for married life is better than the burning of desire. 1 Corinthians 7.8-9

Origin of Marriage

Marriage originated in the Garden of Eden when God brought the woman (Eve) to the man (Adam). It was then stated that a man shall take his wife and become one flesh with her; they spiritually and emotionally become one person, bound in holy union. They will leave their former families (father & mother) and become a new family.

And the man said, this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh: let her name be Woman because she was taken out of Man. For this cause will a man go away from his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they will be one flesh. Genesis 2.23-24

Marriage Throughout World History

All throughout history we can see the ceremony of marriage being practiced in every country and by every people group. Even though marriage may be celebrated differently, we can see that the basic principles are followed between man and woman making a lifelong promise before their families to each other, and usually in acknowledgment of a divine power. This is another indication that the tradition of marriage has been in place since the beginning of civilization and that all civilizations have a similar origin, and has been passed down through the generations for a very long time. History reveals that these traditions would have continued with Noah passing on these ceremonial attributes to his children; with the knowledge that his traditions first began after the creation of mankind, with Adam, divinely inspired by God.

Ordinations of Marriage

One Man & One Woman

In both verses we can see that God clearly defines marriage between one man and one woman. This is the natural order of things to present a properly form unity according to the order of God original creation.

a man … be joined to his wife; and they will be one flesh. Genesis 2.23-24

Cleave to Each Other

The husband and wife are to cleave to each other and separate from their families, as they are no longer considered children, but have now become their own family.

a man go away from his father and his mother…. Genesis 2.23-24

… and they will be one flesh. Genesis 2.23-24

All people are commanded to honor and love their parents, but this tells us that a man and his wife are to physically be separated from their old families. This verse is revealing the creation of a new family, a new family with the man and his new wife, for life, to fulfill the purpose that God has for them. They literally become one person emotionally, and even physically (joining bodies sexually), and cleave to one another for their entire lives.

Love & Affection

Love and affection are two of the most critical attributes of marriage. Marriage is meant to fulfill all the need of each member, as all needs are equally important.

4. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5.  or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6.  it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. 8.  Love never ends. – 1 Corinthians 13.4-8

Love never fails, the word here is agape. It is the word for true love, love with action. It means to be completely given over to something, by willful choice. The Bible tells us here when we love something, we choose to stick with it for life, as in marriage, it is for life. That is why it is so critical to choose who you want to spend the rest of your life with carefully. If you know you can’t be with that person for life, no matter what happens, then don’t marry them, because when you choose to truly love them, you are supposed to choose love for life.

When it comes to true love, people have a hard time and struggle with the concept of staying with their spouse for life, but when it comes to their children few would ever call true love for life into question. People have and understand their commitment to their children because they understand their children are a part of them, in the same way we should understand when we marry someone, we become one with that person for life. True love will go through anything and in the end NEVER have fail.

For Further Information:

Þ    [Click on Article] Bible Study Marriage – Love & Affection

 

FAMILY

Definition of the Family

parenting-father-motherGod created the family unit to be the very building blocks of every social structure. They are the building blocks that come together to form the social ‘buildings’ of every nation; they are individually the make-up of every group of people. When you look into any society, the people you see are individuals that represent everything they learned in their families, whom influence and dictate the lives of each family member. Every person has a respectable and specific role to fulfill in their family. God created families to be the very training grounds of learning, morals and discipline for the children, and the very center of influence for every individual. People bring the influences of their family lives into the lives of others and create businesses and commerce based on those ethics they have obtained from their families, and what has influenced them from the families of other people.

Purpose For Families

God’s original intent and current plan is for families to be used as a discipleship training ground for children being born to learn about God, His ways and purpose for their lives. God created the marriage to be the foundational groundwork for every family on which children may be raised and influenced for God.

Formation Of A Family

A new family is formed as soon as a marriage takes place (Gen 2.23), between husband and wife. As children are born, grow and learn in their families; so do the parents, grow and learn with their children; how to be responsible, God centered and family orientated. A Person who doesn’t learn these lessons will cause a lack the ability to develop in their newly formed families.

Role Of The Parents

Similar Roles of Father & Mother

Each parent has obligations ordained by God for a healthy family with both similar and different purposes. First and most importantly it is the parent’s primary duty to raise children in a way that reflects all the attributes of God into the daily lives that will carry throughout their family. Just as we are to reflect God’s goodness and love to all those in our lives, we should be deeply devoted to doing this especially for the members of our families.

Parent’s duties to their children are:

  1. Spiritual – Disciple their children in Jesus teachings
  2. Psychological – Give our children love and attention they need
  3. Train our children in all manners of wisdom
  4. Physical – Discipline our children with understanding and fair punishment
  5. Nourish our children physically and psychologically

Choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve Jehovah.  – Joshua 24.15

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.  – Proverbs 23.24

If anyone has no care for his family and those in his house, he is false to the faith, and is worse than one who has no faith.  – 1 Timothy 5.8

Parental Teamwork

Parents should be completely unified on every one decision made for their children. When children see there is disagreement between their parents, they work that to their advantage to try and get what they want; they know if mom said no, dad might say yes. This only causes problems their marriage and their family. Communication and decision making are exceedingly important, and need to be discussed between parents to make the best decisions for their children on every occasion. This is another avenue of learning how to compromise between both parents, and learning to make decisions together as a team, sometimes discussing matters outside of the ears of the children.

they will be one flesh.  – Genesis 2.24                          

if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; Ecc 4 .12

 

Child Development

Influencing Children for Life

learning-childThe Bible and psychology both teach us that children retain the principles and teachings they are exposed to when they are young. The things a person learns when they are young will stay with them throughout their entire lives and will help shape their very character. It typically takes an intense amount of training or a severe life changing event to change someone’s attitude once they become an adult, and have become set their own ways. It is usually extremely difficult to reshape a person’s core attitude because the things learned in someone’s youth becomes so deeply embedded in their psyche, and becomes a part of their heart.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22.6

This is why childhood trauma is so difficult to overcome and well always leads to problems into adulthood, because it has remained imbedded in the child’s mind. Mental abuse and discouragement can be very detrimental; while encouragement and wisdom will lead to great benefits and remain with them.

Heretic Lineage

Generational Blessings & Curses

The Bible teaches not that it is not only parent whom pass on things to their children; but God also passes things on from generation to generation. Parent need to realize their actions take on a much more serious and severe consequence then most realize. God will pass on the blessing and positive attributes of the parents as well as the curses and negative attributes of the parent to their following generations. (i.e. technical abilities often run in families, or family traits).

You may not go down on your faces before them or give them worship: for I, the Lord your God, am a God who will not give his honor to another; and I will send punishment on the children for the wrongdoing of their fathers, to the third and fourth generation of my haters;  – Exodus 20.5

… showing lovingkindness unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.  – Exodus 20.6

Our fathers sinned, and are not; And we have borne their iniquities.  – Lamentations 5.7

heraldry-coat-armsWe see that the things parents do has a direct influence on their children. Children pick up patterns and behaviors of their parents, but the phenomenon goes deeper than this. Psychologically we experience this progressive behavior in situations of physical abuse passing form one generation to the next, drug use, fits of rage, as children are exposed to it by their parents. However we do experience in many cases children in a similar manner, that have had passed on to them, blessings and gifts of parents common to their genetic lineage. Parents who have a talent or family trade in many cases easily passed on those attributes to their children, because their children will bear an intuitive nature to performing similar functions. These ‘gifts’ or in some cases ‘curses,’ seem to follow genetically, as suggested in some case studies, even if the child is adopted and has little contact to their natural parents. Some children carry with them traits from their natural parents, not only physically but psychologically. i.e. in many cases, children of engineers and technicians even when lightly exposed to their parents field of expertise catch on easily to diagnostic procedures, and problem solving vs. being compelled to be an artist. This is not always the case but sometimes we do find a trait is passed on throughout multiple generations. This is why children are a gift to THEIR OWN parent, because no one is better suited to raise their own children then the parents that had them. God creates children from their parents physically and spiritually, taking from two people genetic and spiritual material and making one new being, as a gift to the parents, for the purpose of sharing their love and joy with people close to them. This is in no way meant to discourage adoption, as adoption is a beautiful thing; to take up a lonely child and love them. The point is just to say that genetically and physiologically there is no better original match, in a perfect world, then a child’s natural parents. In an imperfect world, thank God for those who do take up the orphans and children to love and care for them.

Stumbling a child

God strictly warns us against stumbling a child, meaning to make them do anything to cause them to sin, or live a life of sinfulness. It is the duty of ever parent to keep their children in the path of righteousness.

And whosoever shall cause one of these little ones that believe on me to stumble, it were better for him if a great millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.  – Mark 9.42

Divorce in a Family

wedding-ring-brokenDivorce is a very tragic event that only leaves scars and hurts everyone involved. With the understanding that every situation is unique, and that the Bible itself does indeed justify divorce under specified circumstances, the following is a generic outline of the subject and is to be taken in regard to the overall meaning of the depth and duty involved in marriage and relationships.

Unity between father and mother is for life, without excuse, for as long as their child lives. Divorce is not suppose to be an option for those whom are God’s children, except for marital unfaithfulness as Jesus said in Matthew 19. Breaking a family up in divorce will always lead to disaster in the lives of children and will scar them emotionally for the rest of their lives, leaving different effects both on them and even extending throughout society.

The more prevalent divorce becomes in a society, the less seriously people take the meaning of marriage to be. Eventually people take marriage as a ‘if it feels good do it,’ mentality with the though ‘if it doesn’t work out, there’s always divorce.’ Marriage is no longer about true love and devotion and becomes a means to fulfill selfish desires, a foundation which makes a rocky marriage at best.

To the degree that you take the seriousness and the integrity of marriage, you will in like manner do everything you can to hold your promise to God in keeping your covenant with your spouse. Many societies do not take marriage with the seriousness or the integrity that it is meant to be defined with. Without holding marriage in the highest regard as intended, it becomes another form of social entertainment, and a act of pleasure for those involved. Marriage first is a devoting and obligation to your spouse, a covenant to keep no matter what the cost. If you do not like the terms and conditions, you should not get married, just as the apostle Paul said.

If you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that  – 1 Corin 7.28 [This is a promise! We have to deal with each other’s fleshly, selfish, sinful natures when we get married.]

However for those who do struggle through it and learn to give up their own selfishness, and obtain true love, to accept the other person no matter what, it reaps a spiritual fruit that can never be achieved in any other relationship. It becomes the epitome of compromise and learning to work together, as one cannot do it on their own. Children need the security that comes from both parents remaining together, this is yet another reason why God created marriage as a lifelong process, and it provides for the security and psychological support that all children need in their lives, even if they don’t realize it.

 

Different Roles of Father & Mother

In the same way men and women are different, and have different roles as husband and wife, so each must understand they both play different roles as father and mother. If one parent does NOT gain the other parents perspective, or understand God’s separate roles for both father and mother, it will cause not only a great deal of confusion, and an ever intensifying, separating issue in the hearts of each parent. If each parent does not accept the difference of the design of the other person it will often result in frustration and bitterness, which the Bible warns against.

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.  – Colossians 3.19

Father’s Discipline

The separate roles of each parent is not only evident is scripture, but also evidence in the psychological aspects and the hearts of each of the parents as they experience different situation with their children.

Love

Disciplinary —————————————0———————————————-Tenderness

Fathers Role                                                                                                                                      Mothers Role

carl-larsson-child-discipline

It is both the father and mothers role to both love and disciplines their children, but both men and women are naturally different. Men must come to understand that a mom will not always disciple their children as much as they would because they have a very strong motherly instinct designed inside of her that drives her to want to love, cherish and pamper her children in a great affection. Women must come to understand that a father will not always be as tender hearted as much as they would be because they have a very strong drive and fatherly instinct designed in him for justice and respect and wisdom to be taught and instilled in their children.

Are either of these wrong, absolutely not, but it is the father and mothers responsibility to understand God’s design in each parent type, and to respect what God has created and know it is for a purpose. A Father needs the mother to balance his instincts and a mother needs the father to balance her instincts. Until they both understand this, it will only cause conflict because one is not like the other, but children need both!

So what are the biblical ordinances and standards of both parental roles?

The Bible says we are NOT to spare the rod, when your child does something willingly wrong, physical punishment is in some cases demanded to fit their bad behavior. However, the Bible warns fathers, not to go overboard with their disciplining to the point of damaging the child psychologically, (exasperation), but rather give punishment that fits the misdeed.
Rather, good discipline coupled with wisdom is excellent form. Always explain to your child why they are getting disciplined, what your expectation are, and how they can do a better job improving bad behavior. It someone gets disciplined and they don’t understand why, the discipline usually becomes useless or ineffective, only making the person angry.

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. – Proverbs 13:24

A fool spurns his father’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence. – Proverbs 15:5

The rod and sharp words give wisdom: but a child who is not guided is a cause of shame to his mother. – Proverbs 29.15

And, you fathers, do not exasperate  your children: but give them training in the teaching  and fear of the Lord. – Ephesians 6.4

Discipline & Encouragement

Fathers must be mindful that a lot of discipline although maybe necessary, can be very disheartening to their children. This is why it is important to spend just as much time with them encouraging and loving them, sharing positive reinforcement in encouragement and wisdom, setting time aside for good and positive relationship building. Children need their father’s attention, love and wisdom.

Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged. – Colossians 3.21

Fathers Duties

Respect

Disciple teaches respect, and many times the children learn to respect or rather listen to their fathers a little more because they know, as fathers are typically the disciplinary teachers. For this reason, Fathers need to make sure they instill in their children respect for their mothers, and make sure they understand that when they disrespect their mothers, they are disrespecting them, because they are unified as one. Disrespect to their mother, IS disrespect to their father, and visa-versa.

The rod and reproof give wisdom; But a child undisciplined causes shame to his mother.  – Proverb 29.15

Fathers Duty of Love

parenting-childrenFathers are to deeply care for and love their families. It is not only their duty but is ordained by God to be their priority and objective. Only the father is commanded to give ‘agape love.’ This is sometimes known as God’s love, a complete devotion or complete giving of oneself over to something. In contrast, women are commanded to love and have affection of ‘phileo’ love (companionship love), but only the father is given the command to have ‘agape love.’

25.  Husbands, have love (agape) for your wives, even as Christ had love for the church, and gave himself for it; 26.  So that he might make it holy, having made it clean with the washing of water by the word,  – Ephesians 5.25-26

28. Even so it is right for husbands to have love for their wives as for their bodies. He who has love for his wife has love for himself: 29.  For no man ever had hate for his flesh; but he gives it food and takes care of it, even as Christ does for the church;  – Ephesians 5.28-29

But do you, everyone, have love for his wife, even as for himself; …  – Ephesians 5.33

Father’s Duty of Provision

It is the curse on men that makes it their responsibility to work to produce an income to feed his family. The Bible strictly warns us that we are to provide for our families, and to make sure that the members of our families are provided for. Even if it is the mother that is the sole provider for the family, it is still the father’s duty to assure that his family is properly provided for on a daily bases, and does what he can to make sure his family is fully maintained. The most important provision a family needs is not one of physical bread, but of love, understanding and spiritual support. This is the absolute essential duty of every Father to make sure his family is supported as God intended.

17. cursed is the ground for thy sake; in toil shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; 18.  thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; 19.  in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.  – Genesis 3.17-19

But if any provides not for his own, and specially his own household, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.  – 1 Timothy 5.8

This is not to undermine those who are poor or unable to provide for their family, having honestly done everything in their power to sustain those they love. This section is reference to the most general plan for fathers in reference to their families. We must all accomplish the best we can according to what God has given to us.

Duty of Protection

It is both parents duty to protect their families, but God has given men a physical stature and strength for a reason. Men, Husband and Fathers are called to be the guardians and protectors of women and children. It is the duty of every man to make sure the weaker person is provided for and free from oppression. Strength is given to guard the weak.

husbands, in like manner, dwell with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor unto the woman, as unto the weaker vessel, as being also joint-heirs of the grace of life; to the end that your prayers be not hindered.  – 1 Peter 3.7

Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.  – Psalms 82.3

 

Mother’s Duties

Mothers Submission to the Fathers Role

The Father is directly accountable first to God for his family, it is his duty to do what is right before God and make sure that he is leading his family on the correct path. The Mother of the family needs to respect and honor her husband and be there to help him, as the wife is designed to be the helper of her husband.

Anytime there is a conflict for power in any situation it only cause divisions, strife, bitterness and bad behavior among everyone involved. The Bible teaches that there cannot be 2 masters of anything, for when there is one is hated and one is loved more. This is why when a mother and father battle over control and leadership, it only causes division in a family and eventually leads to more catastrophic events, especially in today’s society and sexist driven culture- to divorce. God created men to be natural leaders, but it is the man’s choice to take on the responsibility that God created him for.

This whole concept is difficult for many different reason among many different individuals, once again due to the ideologies taught in our society today. This is due to the fact people have twisted and perverted the original meaning of the roles we play in our societies Many people do not truly understand what the purpose of those social roles are. Especially among those who do not learn from God His original intent for each person’s role.

Þ     see Male Chauvinism & Feminism

A family that is properly balanced finds that a good father is the head of the house and is respected by his family members. This doesn’t mean that a wife is to be an all subjective slave to her husband at all, if this though is even conjured up when these topics are discussed, it is due to a lack of understanding.

The principle that the father is the head is taught to be in understanding that God has given each member of the family a designed position, and the dynamic roles of family members when properly fulfilled created an optimally functioning family.

For the husband is the head of the wife, … 24.  And as the church is under Christ’s authority, so let wives be under the rule of their husbands in all things.  – Ephesians 5.23-26

Wives, be under the authority of your husbands, as of the Lord.  – Ephesians 5.22

… and let the wife see that she has respect for her husband.  – Ephesians 5.33

If the father is not fit to be a leader because he is not following God, then it is the woman’s duty to lead her children in the way that God has created for a family to function so the children can grow up in a healthy, stable environment. God warns those whom turn away from His ways, that he will eventually lose his family, one way or another.

If you do not give ear to the voice of the Lord your God… … You will take a wife, but another man will have the use of her … Your sons and your daughters will be given to another people, and your eyes will be wasted away with looking and weeping for them all the day: and you will have no power to do anything.  – Deut 28.15, 30, 32

Mothers Duty of Attention to Her Family

The Bible teaches the mothers role is one of attentiveness to her family and control over her children. She is to love and care for her family members, delegating responsibilities to her children, and making them attentive and responsible to what is noble and good. Mom’s are not mean to take on all the responsibilities of the family duties, but is in a position of authority over her children. Delegating responsibilities to your children teaches them great respect and responsibility. Choirs and hard work teach children to become respectable adults.

So it is my desire that the younger widows may be married and have children, controlling their families,  – 1 Timothy 5.14

That old women are to be self-respecting in behavior, not saying evil of others, not given to taking much wine, teachers of that which is good, 4.  Training the younger women to have love for their husbands and children, 5.  To be wise in mind, clean in heart, kind; working in their houses, living under the authority of their husbands; so that no evil may be said of the word of God.  – Titus 2.3-5

Who can find a woman of virtue? For her price is much higher than jewels. 11.  The heart of her husband has faith in her, and he will have profit in full measure. 12.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.  – Proverbs 31.10-12

She gives attention to the ways of her family, she does not take her food without working for it. 28.  Her children get up and give her honour, and her husband gives her praise, saying,

29.  Unnumbered women have done well, but you are better than all of them.  – Proverbs 31.27-29

 

Role of Children

A Gift from God

Children are gifts from God, and should be treated as such. Parents are to remember that God gave them their children for a purpose to raise them in His ways and truth, and parents will be accountable before God in judgment, either good or bad, for every neglect and/or positive influence they gave to their children.

Children are a heritage from the Lord; the fruit of the body is his reward.  – Psalms 127.3

Children as also meant to be a reflection to society of innocence and the face of unconditional love. God wants children to be at peace and be thankful to God for a playful heart, enjoying he life God has given to them.

The streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof. 6  Thus saith the LORD of hosts; If it be marvellous in the eyes of the remnant of this people in these days, should it also be marvellous in mine eyes?  – Zech 8.5-6

Children’s role are to seek God with all their hearts, learn for their parents & elders, obey their parents. A child responsibility is to primarily learn:

  1. Who God is
  2. How to have a relationship with God
  3. God purpose of His creation
  4. How to treat others
  5. God’s purpose for their individual life

He who gets wisdom has love for his soul: he who keeps good sense will get what is truly good.  – Proverbs 19.8

How to treat your Parents

Children are to treat their parents with respect and honor them in every way possible, knowing their parent are accountable and responsible for them. God promises a reward for all those that respect and honor their father and mother, a lengthened life span. We see evidence of this in today’s world, those who respect their parents often have better lives because they adhere to moral upright standards that keep them away from trouble, and live to be of an older age then those that live their lives in rebellion. They also learned to listen to the advice of their parents and years of experience to learn how to avoided troubling situations as well, in contrast to children who never listened to their parents and learned everything on their own.

Children, do what is ordered by your fathers and mothers in the Lord: for this is right. 2. Give honour to your father and mother which is the first rule having a reward, 3. So that all may be well for you, and your life may be long on the earth.  – Ephesians 6.1-3

Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, 9. for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.  – Proverbs 1.8-9

My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. 21. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. 22. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.  – Proverbs 20-22

If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.  – Proverbs 20.20

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes; But he that is wise will listen unto counsel.  – Proverbs 12.15

Children – Family Inheritance

Children are the parents vessels to whom they can pass on not only physical inheritance and property, but the history and culture of their family heritage. Children are the way for parents to keep their lineage and legacy moving forward in time.  This is why it is important for children to learn where they came from, about their families past and the history of their culture. It is important for children to learn about the traditions of their family and the traditions God has set in place throughout different societies in the world in order to continually remember what God has done for His people. Holidays and cultural events help serve as reminders for families and societies and of their heritage. The Bible teach the importance of these events, and lays out all the calendar holidays that signify events that God did for His people

Þ    see Biblical Holidays

A Righteous man will keep an inheritance for his children. Land, property, wisdom, experiences and physical possessions are to be passed on to the children of every person, it is the God given right to give an inheritance to your children.

A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children; And the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the righteous.  – Proverbs 13.22

Children are to help their parents in their family trade, protect their parents from problems and respect and honor their parent and their property.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! 5. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate  – Psalm 127:4-5

 

Old Testament Family Cultures

Disciplinary for Disobedient Children

People often read old testament cultures and laws from God and wonder why they seem so cruel, but often, people look and interpret things from a current morally depraved perspective. Can you imagine what it would be like if you know the consequence for disobeying your parents was death. Now we know that judicial system was created as a fair system, and issues where to be weighed correctly by the judges, but if children knew the consequences for being disobedient, there would be a generation and culture of completely respectful and moral children with just and right minded people building up their nation.

For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.  – lev 20.9

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.  – Deut 21.18

This would be a perfect system to keep the family unit intact. These verse are not saying that if a kid disobeys their parent they will be killed just for being kids, that’s a very ignorant interpretation, and of course that is NOT how that ancient Hebrews interpreted these scriptures. If that was the case, and interpretation in this manner, Israel would never have survived 1 generation, as all children have to be disciplined to death in order to learn obedience. The Israelites loves their children just as much as any culture, if not more knowing the accountability they had to the one true God. If nothing else it would ensure a better parental system to be in place to keep their children from becoming evil rebels and misfits. These types of laws were intended to keep the culture free from misfit rebels that had not respect for others and would have grown up to be burdens on society and serial law breaker. If God law had been practiced in this manner by every nation for all of time, Hitler, Napoleon and Jeffery Dahmer would never had gotten the chance to murder the number of people they did.

The troubler of his house will have the wind for his heritage, and the foolish will be servant to the wise-hearted.  – Proverbs 11.29

 

Examples of Marriage & Families in Nature

God gives us His word for instructions but also reveals in nature different aspects for the meaning behind His creations and intentions. All throughout the animal kingdom, in birds, mammals we find similar patterns of lifelong mates that work together to raise their families.

Roosters

For example the rooster was given the spurs to protect his family, while it is the hens duty to protect the chicks.

Eagles

The females have been observed to test their potential mates for a dutiful, trustworthy and disciplined male to be her lifelong mate, and is patient only to mate when she finds the right one. A lesson most worthy to be learned by womankind when choosing their lifelong partner.

Musk Ox

work together as a community to create defensive circles to ward off and defend against predators.

Are we supposed to take examples from nature? The answer would appear to be, yes! of course we are no animals, and or moral conscious is God given to keep us adherent to moral law, but God did create beautiful symbols in nature to serve as examples of Godly attributes and institutions.

As a loving hind and a gentle doe, let her breasts ever give you rapture; let your passion at all times be moved by her love.  – Proverbs 5.19

 

Child Adoption

The Bible teaches that those who adopt a child are to treat them as legitimate heirs and as their own flesh and blood. The child that is adopted, becomes the literal physical and spiritual child of those parents.

He that delicately bringeth up his servant from a child Shall have him become a son at the last.  – Proverbs 29.21

A servant who does wisely will have rule over a son causing shame, and will have his part in the heritage among brothers.  – Proverbs 17.2

When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the LORD will be my support.  – Proverbs 27.10

All Believers Are Adopted Children of God

There is nothing wrong with adoption, in fact it is the legal and birth right that is used to relate believers to their Heavenly Father!

(God) having foreordained us unto adoption as sons through Jesus Christ unto himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,  – Ephesians 1.5

 

Friends & Siblings

The word for friend in Hebrew is Reya, and in the Greek it is Philos, in both languages it mean associate, neighbor or friend. A friend is someone who you are kind to and look out for the best interest of.  The Bible sums it up plainly that we are to treat every other person in the world as we would like to be treated, meaning we are to treat every person as a friend or neighbor:

For all the law is made complete in one word, even in this, Have love for your neighbor as for yourself.  – Galatians 5.14

The Bible speaks about bonds of friendship so tightly knit that it lasts for a lifetime. We are to treat every other person the way we want to be treated, Jesus said this is the second commandment. Even our family members, the people closest to us, are to be those we take care of and attend to when in need.

But if any widow has children or children’s children, let these see that it is right to take care of their family and their fathers and mothers: for this is pleasing in the eyes of God.  – 1 Timothy 5.4

If anyone has no care for his family and those in his house, he is false to the faith, and is worse than one who has no faith.  – 1 Timothy 5.8

the soul of Jonathan was joined with the soul of David, and David became as dear to him as his very life  – 1 Sam 18.1-3

There are friends who may be a man’s destruction, but there is a friend who keeps nearer than a brother.  – Proverbs 18.24

 

Purpose for Friends

God created people to want to give their love, and to desire to be loved in return bu other people. We were all created to be social, and in that, to be friends to everyone, to work together and help one another:

  1. Friends always love & care for each other
  2. Friends strengthen each other
  3. Encourage one another
  4. Friends reward each other
  5. Friend are there in times of need for each other
  6. A true friend would be willing to give up his life for his friend

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their work.  – Ecc 4.9-12

Greater love has no man than this, that a man gives up his life for his friends.  – John 15.13-15

The upright man is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of evil-doers is a cause of error to them  – Pro 12.26

A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble.  – Pro 17.17

Oil and perfume make glad the heart, and the wise suggestion of a friend is sweet to the soul.  – Pro 27.9

Iron makes iron sharp; so a man makes sharp his friend.  – Pro 27.17

5. Better is open protest than love kept secret. 6. The wounds of a friend are given in good faith, but the kisses of a hater are false.  – Pro 27.5-6

Influence of Friends

The Bible teaches us that we become similar in attitude with those whom we spend our time with. It is inevitable, we will eventually mimic and become more like the things and people we spend our time with. God created us to adapt to the people around us to be able to relate to them, we have an overwhelmingly deep, designed feature in our psyche that seeks the approval of other people, even when we do our best to deny it. When combine with our flesh nature this turns into a very negative thing causing us to give into the demands and influences of other people.

Friends With Non-believers

It is God’s approval alone that we should be seeking, and it is the influence of other Godly people that we should allow ourselves to be influenced by. Jesus spend time with sinner, and we are supposed to witness to the world, but we should spend the most amount of our personal time talking with our best friend – Jesus, He will keep us clean!

Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals.  – 1 Corinthians 15.33

16. And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he (Jesus) was taking food with the tax-farmers and sinners, said to his disciples, Why does he take food and drink with such men? 17. And Jesus, hearing it, said to them, Those who are well have no need of a medical man, but those who are ill: I have come not to get the upright but sinners.  – Mark 2.16-17

Jesus answered him, “Unless I wash you, you cannot be involved with me.”  – John 13.8

so that he (Jesus) might make it holy by cleansing it, washing it (the Church) with water and the word  – Eph 5.26

Bad Friends

The Bible strictly warns us about bad friends. There are many people in the world that truly have no care for others, but are only interested in dragging down the people around them. The Biblical warning shows us what kind of people they are, and what their true intentions are. Here we see gossipers and those who love to start fights have wicked intents, and even causes strife between friends:

A man of twisted purposes is a cause of fighting everywhere: and he who says evil secretly makes trouble between friends.  – Pro 16.28

The Bible tells us directly those who have anger problems, and wrathful issues will deeply influence our own behavior and to be careful about these kinds of attitudes, to balance these social ties with alternative positive ones:

Do not be friends with a man who is given to wrath; do not go in the company of an angry man: 25. For fear of learning his ways and making a net ready for your soul.  – Pro 22.24-25

Making Friends & Wise Choices

Some individuals are more influenced by their friends then others. Some are designed to be leaders and other followers, even though both can be easily lead at times to be influenced the wrong way. We need to be wise about whom we choose to be our friends, as it is always our choice whom we will spend our time with. Whatever your personality is like, you need to spend as much/ more time with God to offset bad influences in your life however much time that maybe. For some, and for awhile it may be making the choice to stay away from those bad influences for a period of time.

Friend of God

There is no one we should ever be more intimate with, or who knows us better then God alone! God desires us to seek Him constantly and to be His friend. God tells us plainly that we cannot be both friends of the world and friends with Him, we have to choose because each is in contrast and opposition to the other. One is about selfish indulgence and eventually turns you away from God (the world), the other is about eternal delight in God. The question comes to this; are you influencing others for God, or are you letting the world influence you away from God?

For the wrong-hearted man is hated by the Lord, but he is a friend to the upright.  – Pro 3.32

O you who are false to God, do you not see that the friends of this world are not God’s friends? Every man desiring to be a friend of this world makes himself a hater of God.  – James 4.4